WHY WON'T THEY LET ME
Your child doesn't hate you.
They don't just understand you?
Many children do everything their parents say.
They come home on time. They don't argue. They say "Yes, Mummy" and "Okay, Daddy."
And inside, they're asking a question they will never say out loud:
"Why won't they let me?"
Why can my friends go and I can't?
Why do they check everything I do?
Why don't they trust me?
Why can't they just explain?
The danger is the question nobody answers
When that question stays unanswered, your child starts answering it alone.
"Maybe they don't trust me."
"Maybe they just want to control me."
"Maybe other parents love their children more."
Slowly and quietly, a gap opens between you and your child, even while they keep obeying.
Then one day they leave your house for boarding school, university or their first job, where your rules can't follow them. That's when you find out whether your child obeyed you or understood you.
A child who only obeyed often drops every rule the moment you're not watching.
A child who understood carries your rules in their heart for life.
Every parent wants the second child
But you can't lecture a child into understanding. The more you explain, the more it sounds like "Because I said so."
Your child needs to hear it from someone else, in a way that reaches their heart.
I was that child
As a teenager, I obeyed my mother's many rules, and I resented every one of them. Nobody helped me understand her. It took me years.
Today I'm a teacher, mentor and children's pastor with over 12 years of walking with children and teens. I've heard the question "Why won't they let me?" from hundreds of them.
So I wrote the answer.
WHY WON'T THEY LET ME?
Understanding Your Parents, Their Rules, and the Love Behind Them
It's a book written to your child, in their language, that helps them see the love behind your rules, without you lowering a single standard.
It won't make you a softer parent. It will help your child respect a firm one.