The Minister and His Damsel

In this book, “The Minister and his damsel”, Pastor Maxwell establishes the significance of the decision of who to marry as it relates to fulfilling ones call to ministry. He challenges young ministers to clarify that their desire to get married is not driven by pressure and recommends that “until you find the person who is just right for you, you do not get married”.

In finding this right person, Pastor Maxwell highlights some red flags to watch out for including:

·     Insecurity, characterized by a lack of confidence or a fear of rejection, failure, or judgment from others.

·     Not being hospitable, a key requirement for accommodating the sacrifices associated with the ministry.

·     An unwillingness to learn and being set in one’s ways.

·     Being quick to anger or argumentative which threatens peace both at home and in the ministry.

In contrast, he highlights as green flags positive traits such as the willingness and ability to make sacrifices for the sake of the ministry and the ability to keep secrets, knowing that loose lips sink ministries.

Pastor Max encourages ministers to ensure their intending spouse understands the behind the scenes of ministry and its requirements, demonstrates capacity to be prudent and prioritization of their own spiritual growth and maturity. He encourages ministers to avoid comparing their spouse to other female ministers or developing unrealistic expectations of them and as such compelling them to function in offices they’re not called into. He encourages ministers to support their spouses to fulfill God's unique purpose for their own life while serving with them in the ministry.

He further specifically addresses female ministers, emphasizing the importance of ensuring that in making a decision on a spouse, you are certain that he is one you can submit to, you trust his vision and most importantly he can accommodate the demands of your call.