When Nobody Believes In You: The best time to build secretly

There is a particular kind of loneliness that comes from carrying a dream nobody else can see.

It is not ordinary loneliness. You may be surrounded by people and still experience it. You may eat with your family, laugh with your friends, attend meetings, answer telephone calls and participate in ordinary conversations while carrying something inside you that nobody around you understands.

You know what you want to build.

They do not.

You know why it matters.

They are not convinced.

You can see a destination.

They can only see your present circumstances.

That difference can become painful.

Perhaps you have told somebody about the business you want to start. They immediately asked where the money would come from.

Perhaps you have spoken about becoming a writer. Someone asked whether people would actually read your books.

Perhaps you have said that you intend to return to school, change your profession, develop a skill, create something useful or pursue a calling. Instead of encouragement, you received a catalogue of reasons it would not work.

Sometimes people do not even argue with you. They simply smile.

That smile can hurt.

It communicates something without saying it: I do not think you can do this.

There are moments when you can almost feel their doubt entering your bloodstream.

You begin with confidence.

Then somebody questions your ability.

You go home thinking about the conversation.

The next morning the dream feels slightly smaller.

This is how doubt travels.

It does not always arrive as an insult. Sometimes it comes disguised as concern.

"Be realistic."

"People have tried that before."

"Do you really think you can do it?"

"Maybe you should find something safer."

"You are already too old."

"You don't have enough money."

"That is not for people like us."

"Who do you know in that industry?"

"How are you going to compete?"

Some of these questions may be reasonable.

That is important to acknowledge.