Who Is the Head of This House? Feminism, Tradition and the New African Marriage (eBook)

A fair, evidence-based guide for African couples working out who decides, who provides, who cooks, and who has the final say. It's on the side of the marriage, not of men or women.

THE QUESTION NOBODY ASKS OUT LOUD, BUT EVERY AFRICAN MARRIAGE IS ANSWERING

She earns more than he does. He was raised to be the provider. His mother has opinions. Her pastor preached a sermon. The family WhatsApp group shared a video. Somewhere in the middle, a husband and wife are trying to work out who decides, who cooks, whose career comes first, and who has the final say.

This book is for them.

Who Is the Head of This House? is a practical, honest guide for African couples living between tradition, faith, feminism and modern life. It doesn't attack men or women, and it doesn't preach. It looks at the evidence, respects your culture and your faith, and helps you and your spouse build a home that works for both of you.

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WHAT YOU WILL LEARN

- Why most couples are living in "three marriages in one house," and why that causes so many arguments

- What "head of the house" really meant in African tradition, and what it never meant

- How to make big decisions together without a power struggle, using the Decision Map

- The kitchen question: a fair way to share housework and childcare without keeping score for ever

- Two careers, one marriage: what to do when she earns more, or when one career has to come first

- How to honour your in-laws without letting them run your home, with word-for-word boundary scripts

- Friends, faith leaders, colleagues and social media: who is really influencing your marriage

- How to argue without destroying respect

- Infidelity: when trust can be rebuilt, and how to rebuild it

- What the law says when a marriage ends: property, marriage registration and personal safety

- How to write your own Marriage Agreement, step by step

- And finally, an honest answer to the question on the cover

WHAT'S INSIDE

- 295 pages: 15 chapters in 5 parts, plus a prologue and an epilogue

- 15 practical exercises for couples to do together

- 6 workbook appendices: The Marriage Agreement Workbook, The Fair Division Audit, The Decision Map, In-Law Boundary Scripts, The Annual Marriage Review, and a Safety Planning Checklist

- 13 "Myth or Fact?" boxes that test popular claims against the evidence

- Discussion questions at the end of every chapter

- A Discussion Guide for couples, marriage classes, and church and mosque groups

- A glossary, a list of resources and helplines, and full notes and bibliography

BUILT ON EVIDENCE, NOT OPINION

This is not another online gender-war argument. The book draws on the Ghana Demographic and Health Survey 2022, the 2021 Ghana Population and Housing Census, Afrobarometer surveys, Supreme Court decisions from Ghana and Kenya, and decades of published research on marriage in Ghana, Nigeria, Kenya and South Africa. Every statistic is sourced in the Notes. The couples in the stories are composites based on documented patterns, and the book says so plainly.

WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR

- Engaged couples preparing for marriage

- Newlyweds setting the rules of their new home

- Couples whose roles have shifted after a new job, a baby, a move or a change in income

- African couples in the diaspora balancing two cultures

- Pastors, imams, counsellors and marriage mentors

- Anyone tired of the "men vs women" noise online who wants a sensible conversation

WHO IT IS NOT FOR

Anyone looking for ammunition to win an argument against their spouse. This book is about building a home together, not winning a fight.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Fuseini A. Rashid Zakaria spent more than two decades in Canada before returning to Ghana, where he founded TambuGlobal. In Canada he studied Women in Canada, a course examining gender through class, ethnicity, employment, justice, equity and equality. He holds a Master of Arts from the University of Ghana, a Graduate Diploma from McGill University, Canada and a Bachelor of Arts from York University, Canada. He writes about African society with one rule: follow the evidence, and be fair to everyone at the table.

INSTANT DOWNLOAD

You get the full eBook as a PDF straight after payment. Read it on your phone, tablet or laptop, and print the workbook pages to fill in together.

Start the conversation your marriage needs. Click Buy Now and download your copy today.

Note: This book offers general information about marriage and relationships. It is not legal, financial, medical or psychological advice.