IF I EVER GET MARRIED

I have always said I probably wouldn’t get married.

Not in the dramatic, heartbroken, “love is fake and men are terrible” kind of way. I genuinely just didn’t see marriage as something I absolutely needed to experience.

For a very long time, marriage looked like a lot of work with very little guarantee of happiness. I grew up seeing relationships and marriages that made me wonder why anyone would voluntarily sign up for that kind of life. I didn’t have many examples around me that made marriage look like the beautiful partnership people describe it to be. There were arguments, disappointments, resentment, distance, incompatibility and all the complicated things that happen when two people who were once in love have to keep choosing each other even when choosing each other becomes difficult.

My parents, in particular, were not exactly the example that would make a little girl grow up dreaming about marriage.

And when you grow up without seeing something work beautifully, you naturally start questioning whether you even want it for yourself.

I remember thinking, What exactly is the point?

Why should I marry someone when I can build a perfectly good life by myself?

I could have children without necessarily having a husband. I could travel. I could build a career. I could have a beautiful home, make money, buy nice things, spend my weekends doing whatever I wanted, disappear on vacations whenever I felt like it and enjoy my peace. I could be independent. I could take care of myself. I could create a life that was full enough that I wouldn’t feel like I was missing anything.

And if marriage was ever going to be something I chose, then I wanted to be intentional about the kind of marriage I was choosing.

That led me to another thought:

If I ever get married, what would I actually want my wedding to look like?

And apparently, I have a lot of thoughts.

This book is me putting those thoughts somewhere.

It is my little wedding blueprint, not a rulebook, not a demand sent to the universe, and definitely not a contract with my future husband. It is simply the picture I currently have in my head of how I would love things to happen if I ever find myself standing at the beginning of forever with someone I deeply love.